


A Letter Home

by mesoquatic



Series: bmc drabbles [5]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Established Relationship, Letters Home, M/M, They Have Kids, he just wants to go home, married, michael went into the airforce, military michael, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesoquatic/pseuds/mesoquatic
Summary: Almost seven years in, Michael never regretted his decision.





	A Letter Home

Dear Jeremy,

If you are wondering, which I know you always are, I didn’t crash the plane this time. Or any of the times that I’ve been in it. I’m experienced even if you think I’m going to crash it. It’s not like the video games with the weird controls. These are real and more complicated, but easier to use.

My General said I should be sent home by the end of the year, ending my Military career but we both know that he said that last year, too. If not, I will be home for Hanukkah for sure. Make sure my mom remembers that we don’t celebrate Christmas before she buys any gifts. We don’t want a repeat of the last few years. It confuses the kids.

It must feel nice to be in a climate supporting the autumn weather. Here, it seems like the heat will never end and the moment the sun sets, we are freezing to our bones. Nothing seems to be enough. The guys like to joke that it’s the feeling of sleeping alone and without our wives. I don’t think they’ve noticed that I’m gay yet.

But, to be honest, it does feel empty at night. Especially when I was home for a while, sleeping with you in my arms, and then having to come back to our barren bunks. That sounds depressing but it’s the truth. I don’t regret my decision, though. But, hey, five years was all it took of the air force for my mom not to pay for college.

“Five years” has turned into six, though, leading onto seven by now. Less and less people are enrolling, making it harder to leave unless you have to. General says it’ll get better but sometimes I’m worried if I’ll ever see you again. Or, when I do, I’ll be a broken shell of the Michael you know. We’ve talked about that possibility. No matter how many times you say it won’t change how you feel, it will never feel the same for me.

Please remember, no matter what, that I love you. Even if I seem years older after my time. Even if I develop PTSD or worse anxiety. Even if I can’t find a job with the computer sciences degree I have. That was years ago, I doubt anyone would want to hire me after years of no experience.

But, I will gladly wake up next to you every morning and let you deal with my shit after this is all over. I’ll try, just like I always have been, explain my nightmares and let you comfort me. Your arms are like home and I never want to leave. And I know that you’ll always have some story for the kids to understand why their tatay is breaking down in tears by the sound of an airplane.

Most importantly, I’ll let you love me all the same like high school and college and our wedding. There is no other place I’d rather be.

Your Player One,

Michael Heere


End file.
